Today, I feel like a:

  1. Howler monkey
  2. Bernie Madoff at roll call
  3. Guy who won the best job in the world babysitting an Island in Australia

If you guess this right, I shall send you a postcard wherever you may be in the world.

No, I’m not fixin’ to stalk you (*pushes killing kit under the table*)

No, I don’t want to fix you up with my younger brother, older female cousin, or friend who insists we are all connected to alien life forces (*hides love potion, date drug, and creepy cubic zirconium ring under the other table*).

I’m just in a festive mood.  In one swoop (okay, maybe a few ducks and turns), my company went belly up, my partners sued and were counter-sued by people with severe allergies to paying their bills.  Thanks to savings in a firm that had its doors crashed by the FBI in March (starts with S and ends with D, and shares a name with a prestigious school in Palo Alto), I lost all my savings.

I am back, people.  With new insights about how much we can really endure.  You may think that you lost everything but you haven’t really lost anything.

The postcard thing is for real.  Send me an e-mail with a PO-Box or a creepy relative’s address by June 30, and I will send you a lovely postcard with a naughty note (tehehe).  Just kidding.  What do you take me for?!