I don’t sleep at night but I’ve perfected the 30 second daytime nap at the fridge. And the red light. When tying my shoes. When paying bills online. I thought I had another good 30 years in me before spontaneous naps but alas, not sleeping at night will do that to you.
My younger brother called this weekend with a soul uncovering discovery. I had just come out of a mini nap and other than a high heart rate and some disorientation, I felt fantastic. He has decided that ’tis the time to find a wife and start a family. I want kids, he said. Um. Okay, I said. Know anyone, he asked. Let me think about it, I answered. I think if my brother doesn’t find his soul mate by September, the topic will be shelved till next summer.
My friends in this city are all spoken for and nosy me wants to have some sort of input into his matchmaking. I practically raised him (okay, he’s 2 years younger but I helped with his homework). Time to confer with the younger sis and find a match that she and I can approve of. I think that should be the biggest factor in the most important decision of his life. Don’t you agree?
July 7, 2008 at 4:58 pm
So Aya, will you be an objective matchmaker or protective older sis? If you can combine those two things, I think you’ll find him an excellent wifey for him~~~
July 7, 2008 at 8:50 pm
LOL i’m feeling the qurba too, the seasons confuse me – i walked out with winter-boots in the summer.
Om, what’s a matchmaker? i thought cigarettes were banned everywhere.
July 7, 2008 at 9:08 pm
agree 100% to your question. i suppose if we still had been living in africa, the daily greetings of “how are you and how’s the family and the children and the camels” enough times would be a ‘matchmaker’.
July 7, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Om, I won’t lie to ya, if the chick doesn’t pass my 20-point inventory, the union will be in serious jeopardy. If I catch a whiff of evil tendencies or a bust-a-guy’s-spirit leanings, she will not know what hit her.
Cigaal, don’t you think?! My younger brother trusts both his sisters to give an honest opinion.
July 8, 2008 at 12:44 am
Hahaha, yes, that’s exactly what I thought, Aya. I knew both of you have an elaborate inspection, which in a sense is good because if she can’t get along with his sisters, the union has about 50-50 chance of survival. Btw, I thought the D.C./Northern VA area had a lot of nomads – I’m sure you can find a nice girl for your bro.
July 9, 2008 at 1:12 am
Mmmmm Aya…I kinda always wanted to be related to you. Can’t blv you wouldn’t put me in the shortlist
((((
July 9, 2008 at 9:11 am
Om, she can try but don’t know how well she can succeed
There are definitely a good number of nomads in the the D.C./VA area.
Lone Dreamer, you just give me the word, hon, and you are number 1 in a one person list.
July 9, 2008 at 6:42 pm
not sleeping? What’s the matter? You need to cut the noise in your head down- try self-hypnosis. I had one half hour session Sunday night and on Monday I was so chilled out I was on a Caribbean island mentally. Resist the naps. And resist match-making the kid bro. This sort of thing can threaten sibling relationships. Serious mode over. Have you ever tried dating yourself? Been meaning to write about that.
July 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Paradise, I’ve always been an insomniac (an accumulation of a lifetime of bad habits beginning in PreK). I have breaks from the torture for months at a time but when it hits, I remember what it is like to go through life half asleep. The poor sleep led to a number of injuries that have derailed my attempt at a marathon. Hypnosis is on my list of things to do. After work with the masseuse, trainer, stretching dude, and my physical therapist. Sigh.
My kid brother is cool, he gets these gotta-marry-and-become-a-dad things every few months. He will have to stop working 16 hour days to find a girl and actually have time to start a family.
Dating? Me? Now?
*weeps uncontrollably*
When are you going to write about that?
July 11, 2008 at 11:43 pm
If I ever discover the remedy to insomnia, you’ll be the first I’ll share it with. What is this I hear of injuries? I’m sorry, didn’t know about them. Hope you feel better soon.
Your brother sounds exactly like mine – he also gets into the same mood every few months but his last for about two weeks before to be shelved in six months.
What’s up with the not dating? You need to rectify that situation soon hun. Have a fling if need be
.
And finally, what was so horrible about salsa to make you give up?
July 12, 2008 at 10:55 am
Aya, what has your younger brother got to offer a wife?
July 12, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Sisters if it was up to me I would say your #1 job in life is to help your brother find a mate. I don’t know how you’d do it. All I know is that you have to do it LOL (migrations have a sad effect on these things). I remember my sister and her best girl friend. Usually I never interacted with my sister’s friends but this one, we just had the same wave length on many things, and we started spending more time together than she did with my sister. Then one day my sister looks at me and says “you know she’s my friend, and not yours?”
I live in a small country and the migration of girls from the villages have had a serious toll. Many bachelors have been left stranded up in the mountains, and their only hope is the summer arrangements with bus loads of women with names like Olga. The brave ones fly to foreign lands to find a mate. Unfortunately the new stricter immigration control is having a negative effect too. Lopsided? Yeah as hell it is.
My best friend said he threw in the towel and went to hooyo. This is the chat he had with hooyo: “hooyo, don’t think I’m good as you think. you know I have earned all these degrees, and this great job, and I do things, but hooyo I’m not really good. I’m not good at finding a wife, hooyo, can you help?”. He got married and has kids and is an average guy now – not good – but an average guy.
To the girl who asked what’s in the offing – an average guy and some loving LOL.
Nytimes had an article on “The ideal husband”:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/opinion/06dowd.html?em&ex=1216008000&en=f2fa6b9fcc8abb63&ei=5087
I don’t know what to say about it.
Aya, I don’t know what got into me – I usually don’t talk much LOL.
July 13, 2008 at 2:28 am
lol the post above me is hilaious!!
ahaha how old is he anyway? ahah but hmmm hook him up with you best friend and viola thats your new sister….lol i know its not that simple but good luck aya!!
July 13, 2008 at 6:11 pm
AMTAF, I could use that remedy, hon. Other than the right shin, my right hip is a little out of whack and needed adjusting, and thanks to an over ambitious strengthening routine, I strained an abdominal muscle. Apparently, I would heal better if I were not sleep deprived.
My kid walaal is totally nesting and ready to be a husband and a father. I told him when he starts hyperventilating mid sleep, he should call me. Before that, I’m staying out of the mess. Can’t imagine the damage to our great relationship if things don’t work out and my grubby little paws introduced her to him.
Salsa, ugh! Can you believe that he answered his phone 4 times in the midst of a 30 minute class AND talked about a client (a young couple learning some steps for their wedding) behind their backs? I’m searching for another instructor. Maybe Waltz.
FOC, other than an awesome sister-in-law
? Not that I am biased or anything, he is the most honourable man I’ve known, more so than the 4 of us combined, LOL. I ain’t ashamed to admit it.
July 13, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Cigaal, talk as much as you want walaal. So what happened to your sister’s friend??
LOL @ ‘he’s an average guy now’, I hope that’s not a direct result of marrying and having kids. Oh man, I hope young lads like you have better luck than pigtailed Olgas (who could be perfectly great gals, btw). I think I’m a little afraid to ask what a summer arrangement is. Umm. What is it?
Idil, thanks, hon, LOL. My best friend is spoken for which is good. Knowing their personalities, I would’ve been more liable to lose both a best friend and a brother in that breakup. He’s 28.
July 14, 2008 at 6:22 am
Idil, thanks walaal – i’m glad you could relate to the #1 job in life. *smiles*
Aya, I pledge the fifth lol
Being an average guy, one of the fellas, is actually great. I knew once a tall redhead and one day she confides in me, “I’ve tried these academic types and so forth and it’s not going anywhere. I’m seriously thinking of the ordinary guys, you know, the bricklayers, the carpenters, the plumbers…I can’t think of ending up like those 3 aunts of mine”. Ain’t nothing wrong with the average guys or ordinary guys, I say.
July 17, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Wow marriage is in the air ,ppl are getting married left n right around here too,I really hope u find ur brother a nice wify
بس بليز تأكدي انها مو مغرورة او صغيرة …دوري له بنت عاقلة و ست بيت مونفسي حتى ما اعرف اسوي شاي,,,لوووووول
July 17, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Iman,i think its about time u started planning in advance.A good plan will never let u down u know?
Salaam Aya,how are u abaayo?Good i hope.Well as i can see,aboowe wants to get out too and be what every man wants to be called ”Pops”.Well guess what,the fellow is lucky that he has u.All u got to do is to be ur rational self and am sure u’ll sort him out.Of course the sisterly over protectiveness is gonna be an advantage here since he’ll get a double certified cajuuso.Oh well,all the best for him and i think a successful marriage is the best thing that can happen to any cajuus and cajuuso
Aya,that being that,Maxaa cusub?
July 17, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Cigaal,
Living in Scandinavia must be really tough if the situation as you describe. Wow…
LOL @ ‘he’s an average guy now’ – maskiin. Do you think he might have been better had he not married?
Serious question: why all the concern for marriage? What of those who don’t believe in it?
July 19, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Amtaf, i was just trying to say that all options in finding a mate can be utilized, i.e. sisters, hooyos, reerka, etc. In our somali traditions hooyos can and do play a vital role in helping their sons find a wife (hooyos are very resourceful in fact). Regarding my friend, there’s progression in his status if you read carefully what i said. His own admission to hooyo was ‘im not really good’ so there is in fact an improvement – from ‘not good’ to an average guy. This is a very respectable position in my book.
For those who don’t believe in marriage, please remind us to check the status in 20 or 30 years (I’ll be very curious to know then).
Finally, another traditional somali approach:
July 20, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Cigaal, hear hear for the average guys! An average guy has to be above average in wooing a girl, though. Don’t you think?
إيمان حبيبتى كيفك؟
If my brother doesn’t find someone by early Fall, he’ll be asking for help again next year.
No doubt, marriage is in the air! Must be the spring/summer air
Tito!! Where have you been? I am doing well walaal. LOL @ double certified cajuuso. Never mind me, what are you up to these days?
AMTAF, I think of marriage as a necessary evil much of the time. I still haven’t heard a compelling case for it
July 21, 2008 at 1:40 pm
^I should have said dating YOUR SELF. Two separate words.
I’ve kind of blogged about it. Go read. This man-woman stuff is lost on me which is why I have been flying solo for so long.
July 22, 2008 at 9:11 am
So Aya, how successful have you been? Any luck yet?
PS: Don’t throw away the contacts of those girls you’ve found unsuitable for your brother; there is a potential ‘bisinis’ opportunity to them
.
July 22, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I completely agree with you, Aya, in my opinion marriage is a necessary evil almost 99% of the time – no one can convince me otherwise.
Cigaal, I’ll contact you in 20 years and we can swap experiences then, deal?
Isseh, which ‘bisnis’ is this and are you involved in any way?
July 24, 2008 at 12:31 am
Paradise, looking forward to the read. I thought I had the man-woman stuff figured out but I don’t know shit.
Isseh, not very successful so far, walaal. He may have better luck with other females in the family. Wonder what that ‘bisnis’ is?
AMTAF, my views on marriage disgust my older relatives to no end. They don’t understand that I believe necessary, but an evil one
August 6, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge shall every room be filled with precious and pleasant riches.