Aya

in Egypt on May 4th.

There is another call for civil disobedience and may it be the first rock in an avalanche.

No more young and old going missing in prisons and unidentified dungeons.

No more military courts for civilians.

From your neighbourhood nomad, mourning her own people’s demise.

Don’t try to stop me from what I’m going to do in exactly 3 days and 16 hours. I am going to kill my neighbour’s dog. Don’t. Don’t say it. Because I can’t hear you.

The world is not big enough for both of us. Either he goes or I go. I am higher up on the consciousness scale, I am taller and I have prettier legs, so he goes.

Everyone knows nomads are scared of dogs but we had one as a child so they don’t scare me. Very much. I found it to be a stupid animal, unworthy of all the fuss. Yes, it jumped up and down. So what? I pick up one leg and move it in front of the other when I walk.

I am a fair person, our dog was a million light years ahead of the cantankerous, overweight, beast known as the cat, also living in our house. How I wished my mother would run it over by accident in the mornings. Instead, my mother ran over my foot as I hid in the garage to surprise her before she went to work.

Why do I want to kill this dog? I’ve been using the complex gym to run and the owner seems to have timed his workouts to mine. The dog is outside, leash wrapped around a pole, eyeballing me like he wants to kill me or something. I eyeball it right back, thinking: bring it on, cujo. My people slay lions, you crown idiot of the animal kingdom.

What does his owner do? He stumbles off the treadmill, probably starstruck from all that gazing at his form in the mirror. What does he do when he stumbles off? He steps on my gym bag on the floor and crushes my phone with his club foot.

Why am I killing the dog instead of the owner? For one, he is guilty of being owned by the grand fuckmeister, secondly, I am tired of watching horndog from hell masturbate a record 4 times while I run to Luther Vandross. Safe journey to pervo dog heaven.

*daydreams about running while watching neighbour’s crushed spirit*

Speaking of the weekend, looking forward to a short trip. Haven’t really been on one since late fall. Spring colours can be so beautiful. It’s only Tuesday, right? I’m practicing positive, optimistic, cup-is-half-full xaar psychology. Is it working?

I am a changed woman.

This past week has been as busy as any other but I felt like a wound ball the entire time. Something about worries bypassing my brain and going straight to the muscles. Nothing major really, just a couple of deadlines.

By Friday, I felt like a giant contracted muscle with a head and limbs. Back hurts, shoulders hurt, abdominal muscles sore, even thighs felt odd.

A friend suggested a massage. Never had one and I’m deeply suspicious of anything Swedish. Nonetheless, I booked an appointment for Saturday. The place is right next to a Kabbalah/yoga studio, a green shop, and some other new agey monstrosity. I walk in and I swear I was a question mark. My lower back has me by the girl gonads.

The masseuse (can’t say that without giggling, I feel like Madame Butterfly) was actually a very talented woman of a certain girthy stature. She nodded slowly as I warned her that I wasn’t into any painful, kick my ass and make me pay for it, nonsense. I just wanted someone to coax my muscles to relax and stop torturing me.

I could barely get on the table without cracking, my right shoulder felt like a 12″ blade was sticking out of it. I came out of the room 40 minutes later, surprised at how tall I am again.

I don’t know, man. I was practically crawling around my living room the past few nights. Why didn’t someone tell me about this before?

Friends, my sister turns 25 very soon and I need to buy a gift.  She hates a fussy b-day and has already asked for a book (blah) but I want to get her something more substantial.  She loves gadgets and mixes her own music.  Any ideas?

Folks! Forgive this hiatus and it will not happen again.

I was a little down because I was nursing a number of things:

• Shin pain – remember that marathon I was supposed to run? Well I have some right shin issues and was told back in the fall to consider physical therapy and postponement. Instead, I wallowed and whined, poo-hoo-hooed all over my apartment, made a shrine of my running shorts, called my mother and shouted that the universe hates me, then I took a contract to work with jackasses on an oil field for 3 months. I came back stressed, out of shape, and my eyebrow hair falling out because of the pollution. Don’t worry, I’m back to looking like Stalin. Anywayzies, this bitch is not going down without a fight. Back to the running clinic in 2 weeks.
• Disappointment – The marathon I’m missing because of the above.
• Exasperation with a dash of WTF! – I couldn’t sell my apartment so I am living in it and pretending as I pass by the ‘For sale’ sign that I don’t give a rat’s ass but I do, goddammit. Any of you looking into buying one? I’ll throw in my TV and coffee table.

All of these are not enough to abandon my blog-home and my cyber-familia.

I am not completely unplugged, nomad and non-nomad brethren (and sisthren).  Work sux, assignments suck, being a lazy bum lounging about in a t-shirt and flip-flops rules!

In my absence, I’ve come to love my thrice-weekly brain food once again:

I quit eating fish in the amounts I used to but no more.  A fella’ with a tomato-red face stood near my desk.  He asked for some number of some proposal for some company.  I didn’t know the number or the proposal, much less the company.  He was impatient and his second-to-last chin quivered.  Come to think of it, I didn’t remember who this lobster-head fuck was.  He is the department head with whom I’ve worked for months.  See how my brain needs its Omega-3!

My new spring resolution is to wear less black.  I looked at 7 different pictures from the last few weeks and in each one, I am wearing mostly black.  This pink shirt, in the right spot, in the right shade, at the right time of day, will burn your corneas but it is worth it because I look FAB in it.

And last but not least, my Yummy Puma shoes.