What’s with shameless people?  Huh?  What?

I’m sick of strangers who think that they can walk up to you and tell a dirty joke or talk about their sex lives.  I am sick of people.  No, I don’t hate people.  Okay, maybe I do a little.  But my problem is with fools who have no sense of shame at all.

This Asian woman from the HR department shows up out of nowhere.  Starts talking about her husband’s diabetes.  No problem.  I gave her my usual 60 second mental deadline before I cut her off.  At 48 sec., she starts talking about his problems with keeping an erection.  WHAT!  I think I threw up in my mouth.

I’ve seen a picture of her husband on her desk, they’re both in their late 50s.  All that sagging skin rubbing up against each other.  Dammit I have a vivid, cartoonish imagination.  “I can always tell the difference, you know”, she says.  WTF!  No, I don’t know.  I could’ve gone to my grave without the details and the damn imagery.

And then this idiot from acquisitions walks into our office space and grins.  His fat face and triple chins distracting to no end.  “Guess what?, he exclaims.  I’m on the phone with a client so I try to ignore him but the fool in the next office asks “what”.  “For every 10 pounds they lose, overweight guys can gain an inch……”.  I didn’t let him finish, I put my hand on the phone and told him to kindly converse elsewhere.  Honestly, people have no shame.  The last thing I want to hear about is this fool’s struggle with an innie.

Look, I’m no prude but people need to check themselves.  I don’t stand next to them and unwedge myself while I talk about my gyn appointment and I sure don’t walk into their homes, pull my panties to the side and urinate on their children.  You gotta check yourself before you open your big mouth.  We don’t know each other like that.

Now if Terrence Howard wanted to start up a little convo about a little somethin’, then I might listen.  A little.  You know.