Aya

I’m following Firefly’s suit and answering some random questions for no real reason. Mondays are hell. People who go to hell have Mondays every day.

Back to the Q&A.

When were you happiest?

When my siblings and I were taken to get icecream. The anticipation and giggles in the car. Labouring over a few choices (always the same ones!). Those first and last bites and all in between.

What is your greatest fear?

Losing my sister to an illness or seeing her suffer.

What is your earliest memory?

My father teaching me to swim in the ocean as a toddler. My hands would hang off his neck for dear life. Salt water hurt my eyes. My mother who hated swimming screamed encouraging words from the beach.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I ruminate.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Cruelty.

Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

My crummy car. *tears rolling down cheeks*. The busted-engine sign has been on for about a week.

What is your most treasured possession?

My mind.

What would your super power be?

I would see the future.

What makes you depressed?

The feeling that I’m holding my breath for nothing.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I wish I didn’t gain weight EVERYWHERE.

Who would play you in the film of your life?

The thought is too creepy.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Hours and hours and hours of TV watching.

What do you owe your parents?

Teaching me that all people are fallible.

What is the worst job you’ve ever done?

I was a lifeguard for 2 summers. I hate public swimming pools and I hate children under 12.

What has been your biggest disappointment?

I abandoned a childhood dream.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?

My maternal grandfather. He died before I was born.

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?

That I wasn’t going to amount to anything. I knew they were being cruel but words can wound.

What does love feel like?

Romantic love? Like you’ve lost your mind and have just enough consciousness to know that you’ve lost your mind.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?

A first degree relative. Don’t ask.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Shit. Fuck. Kiss my ass. I use them mostly when on the road, driving long distance.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

I would stay true to my dreams as a child.

When did you last cry, and why?

I don’t remember. It’s Monday and I’m in the midwest. I feel like crying now.

How do you relax?

I walk. I’ve begun running and it’s more relaxing.

What is the closest you’ve ever come to death?

I feel off a cliff and was unconscious for 2 days. I was 5.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

Money. Lots of it.

What keeps you awake at night?

Fear for my loved ones’ health.

What song would you like played at your funeral?

Song??!! Nobody better fucking sing and dance when I’m dead. When I die, fun dies with me.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Not everyone who says that they love you will be there for you.

Where would you most like to be right now?

On a beach, warm sand between my toes, the sounds of demon children laughing and playing.

I have to control my debts. Here’s what I’m thinking of doing:

1. Keep driving my 10 year old car despite 180K kilometers on it. I was so bloody tempted at the mechanic today (the umpteenth bleeding time) to simply put it out of its misery and lease a new car. If I didn’t need it for work or lived in the shittiest, non-environmentally conscious, sidewalk missing city, I would take public transport.

2. Consider going for an employee position that would relieve me a bit of lags between projects that deplete my savings. As I type this, I know in my heart that I won’t, but my mind is telling me to grow the fuck up and stop daydreaming about picking up one day and moving to an island.

3. I could get a roommate (uggghh!). Living in a university city means college kids are always available. Not sure how the privacy thing will go since I’ve lived alone for more than 5 years.

4. Find a rich, old dude ala Anna Nicole Smith, knock him down a flight of stairs with my tote bag (beautiful chocolate-brown DKNY), rush to the bottom of the steps, hold a mirror to his decrepit face, and if it fogs up, smother him using only a pinky finger. I’ve watched enough CSI to know what they can find from a body. I don’t mind fighting his 60 year old kids in court as long as I get mine.

What do y’all think?

I’m sorry about the late update, folks, I know some of you were curious about what happened to the African American gentleman who joined my team at work. So, here’s an update on a couple of fronts:

1. The gentleman, JM, made quite an impression in his 2.5 weeks of work. A little on the quiet side, he’s raised some curious questions. It’s disgusting how toxic office environments are with gossip and backbiting. New people have to be figured out quickly to see where they fit in the matrix. I’m a little worried about a couple of racist troublemakers but much will depend on how he handles himself. He’s largely kept to himself, eager to learn, but friendly enough to be liked by the clients, an impressive feat for anyone.

Since he reports to me and I set his schedule and tasks, I’m planning to help him get the most out of the experience. Four month projects usually focus on management and client satisfaction; however, my goal is to get him immersed in the financial aspect of the work and include that in his recommendation. Given his age and education, this would make him more attractive to subsequent project managers. Personally, I haven’t heard a grumble or a whine from the extra work and I am thrilled to say that the next site visit, he will attend and I will be spared a 3 day visit to hillbilly hell.

2. I’ve made a decision (not a final one) to train for a marathon. I did a few (very) short ones, mostly for charity/work. I’m out of shape for this fall and carrying about 18 lbs. (or about 8.5kilos) more than I should so my hope is to aim for the 2008 Boston marathon. I’m also concerned about a stress fracture in my right shin when I was 18 and a little afraid but I have an appointment with a trainer soon and will make my final decision in the next month. I’ve dusted my beat up sneakers and will hit the gym very soon.

Any of you runners out there?

 Give a sister some cheering!